This is written from the perspective of a middle aged white man and is written primarily for white people. Anyone is free to read and comment.
Today I was changing stations on the radio and I came across a talk radio show with two middle aged white men talking about race relations. The host of the show was saying that one of his best friends was black and the guest replied that you shouldn’t have to qualify it, that you should just be able to say they were friends without mentioning race. Then they both congratulated each other about not being racist.
The number of black friends you have is not the problem. The problems with race relations are not caused by how you treat the people you know and like.
When you see several younger black men standing together on the street and you change direction and walk the other way; or if you check to make sure your wallet is tucked deep in your pocket; or you put your hand on your cell phone or keys. That is part of the problem.
When you see black women in a department store looking at the Coach purses and your first thought is, “There’s no way they can afford that.” That is part of the problem.
When a police officer approaches a black person already half convinced that they are guilty of something and with an adrenaline rush starting from an expectation of danger or violence. That is part of the problem.
I’m not saying that this happens all the time or that everyone does this. I’m sure most of you are shaking your head and telling me how little prejudice you have. Congratulations, you win a medal for being champion of a post-racial society. I’m sure you are thinking that all people have it hard and that all people are judged regardless of race.
Here’s a thing that I have come to realize. If you are white, especially if you are a white man, you have an unspoken privilege. You are given the benefit of the doubt and are accorded a lot more leeway.
If you get pulled over by the police, the interaction is usually easy. The cop tells you that you have a tail light out. You say you’ll get it fixed. The cop gives you a warning and you go on your way.
Some will say, “That’s because I obey the instructions and treat the officer with respect.” It’s easy to obey the instructions and treat the officer with respect when he comes to your car with a causal manner and a pleasant attitude. It’s a little harder when he comes up with his hand on the butt of his pistol yelling at you to keep your hands on the wheel. When the assumption is that you are a dangerous criminal before he’s even spoken to you.
It’s easy to enjoy shopping when you can stroll casually through the store and the clerks ask if you need any help and tell you to have a good day. It’s harder when an employee follows you around to see if you are shoplifting and the other clerks ignore you.
I’m not by any means saying I’m completely without prejudice. I’m guilty of telling jokes I shouldn’t. I’m guilty of crossing the street. I’m guilty of staying quiet. However, I have come to the realization that I, as a white middle aged man, do have an unspoken privilege that black people do not. I am going to try to do better and I am going to try to use my privilege to make things a little better.
All I ask of you is to think about the things that are easy for you to do, but can be difficult for people of color; and to try every day to do a little better.
